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So attaching the adjective “adult” to a noun, must mean the same as “sleazy” or “bad for you”.ġ9. There’s adult entertainment too, and we know what that means. Adults also drink things like water, coffee and tea but these aren’t called adult beverages, just beverages. We consume adult beverages which are booze drinks, beer and wine and hard stuff. If you are a politician in Arizona, people who run across the border are illegal aliens, unless they are employing these same people to tend to their children or flower gardens, then they are known as undocumented workers.ġ8. If you say you committed terminological inexactitude, or you relayed misinformation, misspoke or were economical with the truth, well that means you just told a whopper. Watch out if the company you work for says it is levering up, it means they are spending money they don’t have. An example: Assistant Supervisor of Things Beginning with the Letter “A”.ġ5.

Uptitles are fancy job names given in lieu of monetary compensation. If you want a raise and you deserve a raise, but there’s no money or the company just doesn’t want to do it, you might get an uptitle instead, which is a fancy name for what you already are. If you are a bank, bad, crappy debts are non- or under-performing assets.ġ3. You’re not buying a used car, you are purchasing a pre-enjoyed or pre-loved vehicle.ġ2. On a lighter note, intelligent ventilation points, when speaking of a garment are – armholes!ġ1. When a geographical area is neutralized or depopulated that means the CIA killed people, just because.ġ0. Accidental – but you can’t quite escape the “death” part.ĩ. When you come into a country and break it, for a variety of good reasons, you might cause some collateral damage, which are really deaths of civilians. Since we’ve been involved in two wars for ten years, stuff happens, stuff that we don’t want to happen. It’s torture, folks! Torture, and you can’t sugarcoat it, and you can’t make it sound nice. This is one of my personal favorites, not the process it refers to of course, but the absolute ludicrousness of this particular phrase. In light of the recent demise of Osama bin Laden, several politicians have stressed that it was the enhanced interrogation methods which caused the informants to squeal and give up the nickname of the courier, which we then followed around until he led us to the compound of OBL. Only courtesy has nothing to do with it, it’s just freaking annoying.ħ. When you get an unwanted phone call just as you are sitting down to dinner from a representative of the Republican party (and you are a Democrat) or vice versa, this is called a courtesy call. If you are managing company stakeholders, that means you are lobbying, which is really the same as bribing.Ħ.

You do not live in a slum but in substandard housing, or in an economically depressed neighborhood, or culturally deprived environment.ĥ. You aren’t broke, you have temporary negative cash flow.Ĥ. You aren’t poor, you are economically disadvantaged.ģ. If you are offered a career change or an early retirement opportunity, a career or employee transition, or you are being involuntarily separated, or if personnel is being realigned or there is a surplus reduction in personnel, or the staff is being re-engineered or right sized, or if there is a workforce imbalance correction then: You’re fired!Ģ. Here are some particularly amusing examples, except where downright offensive.ġ. It conceals or prevents thought.ĭoublespeak was one of the central themes of George Orwell’s famous novel, 1984, although he didn’t use that term, instead he used the terms “doublethink” and “newspeak”. It is language which avoids, shifts or denies responsibility.

It makes the bad seem good, the negative seem positive, the unnatural seem natural, the unpleasant seem attractive, or at least tolerable. Sometimes called doublespeak, a euphemism is a word or phrase which pretends to communicate but doesn’t. A euphemism is “the substitution of a mild, indirect or vague term for one considered to be harsh, blunt, or offensive”.